FOR TODAY | 18.05.2021

Do less a little more, and do it better! I’m always surprised at how much I choose quick motion over slow action without realizing. Last month, I started doing morning pages (2-3 pages every day of stream of consciousness) and it’s helped me calm down and make more meaning out of the motion (or lack of it).

Anyone else feel a bit spinny until you put pen to paper? The writing part is cathartic, sure, but that post-journal feeling is what I’m after. My chicken scratch helps me fly the coop of my ego and I’m left being amazed at how negative some of that writing actually is. If you’ve ever done morning pages or something similar and wondered why at times it tends to lean negatively, it’s usually because there is gunk deep in our psyche whispering sour nothings. And I know that if I don’t take a minute to look at it and gain perspective, I carry the gunk around and every once in a while I go, “where did that horrible thought come from” or “why did I say something I didn’t mean”.

Time since Jan 2021 has felt like a slow disappearing act for me. I felt parts of me dissolve right before my eyes. Some of it was medical which created havoc in my body’s balance. But beyond that I was living in an old narrative with a totally new context. I was still trying to do everything in the same way, frustrated that I wasn’t “better at this.” Completely spiraling.

Now, I do less, but I consciously try to do it better. I am slow to act, but I find myself traversing to a space where I’m never aimlessly in motion. Atleast that is the intent. It feels different. It feels hard to be consistent, but the payoff is actual momentum and that feels good. Give it a try. #onwardsandupwards